celebrity dream network

Scarlett, there’s an audio tape on the Interweb supposed to be you giving some lucky fella a hummer. Any truth to that, and if so, who’s the guy?

“Giggle. Sure, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure it’s true. I talked it over with my agent, and we decided it was a good time for me to get in on the ’sex tape’ bandwagon, lol. An audio clip gives me all the plausible deniability I need and makes for a much faster download than some grainy video. The production values on this thing are superb. You can hear every little sound I make. It’s going to spread like a virus. Look for a Japanese version in a few days. The guy was — ummmm — Jared Leto, of course — “

LOL, Kevin… was it a good ride, man?

Dude, I knew it wasn’t gonna last forever, you feel me. If I was gonna break out and be a big rapper, I would have done it by now. Right? I was just trying to hit that biznatch as much as possible, eat caviar and sit by the pool as long as I could. Peace.